Motherhood
I watched the movie Hustlers the other night, and there’s a line Jennifer Lopez drops twice that made me laugh way harder than I expected:
“Motherhood is a mental illness.”
Not because mothers are unwell,
but because, from the outside looking in, we probably do look a little unhinged.
The worrying.
The planning.
The anticipation of the five disasters that never happen.
The emotional spreadsheets we run in our heads that nobody else sees.
It’s funny until you realize the truth behind it.
Because motherhood today?
It’s not the same motherhood our mothers or grandmothers lived through.
Not even close.
Motherhood 30 Years Ago vs Today: Two Completely Different Universes
Thirty years ago, motherhood had its challenges, of course, but at least the expectations were consistent.
There was a cultural script:
Raise your kid
Feed them
Keep them alive
Teach them not to lick electrical outlets
Hope for the best
There was no Instagram perfection.
No TikTok parenting hacks.
No “gentle parenting vs authoritative vs Montessori vs attachment vs conscious parenting” debates.
There wasn’t a mental load vocabulary, a co-parenting vocabulary, or a digital childhood vocabulary.
There was stress,
but not this level of constant psychological auditing.
Today?
Mothers are raising children in a world moving at the speed of light
using rulebooks written in the 1980s
With support systems built in the 1950s
and child-care prices set in 2035.
It’s no wonder we look “a little mental.”
The Invisible Curriculum Modern Mothers Are Expected to Master
Mothers today, especially single mothers, are expected to be:
therapist,
nutritionistscheduler
emotional shock absorber
moral compass
protector
homework specialist
spiritual guide
social media monitor
crisis manager
financial strategist
co-parenting diplomat
self-development coach
AND the only consistent adult in the room
And we’re supposed to do all that with:
wages that haven’t risen
childcare that costs more than rent
jobs pulling people back to the office
school systems cracking
prices rising
no village
no time
Meanwhile, society still judges us by the standards of a world that no longer exists.
⭐ Single Motherhood: The Stakes Are Higher, the Safety Net Is Thinner
Thirty years ago, the stereotype of the “single mom” was unfair —
but at least the cost of living wasn’t a psychological assault.
Today?
Single mothers aren’t just raising children.
They’re holding up an entire ecosystem.
Every decision, every setback, every bill, every schedule change, every emotional shift falls on us alone.
And the world’s response?
“Have you tried being less stressed?”
Right.
Thanks.
So, No Motherhood Isn’t a Mental Illness.
It’s a Transformation That Society Hasn’t Caught Up To.
The joke hit me because motherhood, especially modern motherhood, looks insane to anyone who doesn’t understand the pressure.
But the truth is:
It’s not mothers who are breaking.
It’s the infrastructure around us that never evolved.
We’re doing a job that didn’t even exist 30 years ago —
not at this intensity, not at this speed, not with this mental load,
and we’re expected to handle it with the same amount of support women had decades ago.
That’s the disconnect.
It’s not us.
It’s the system.
Motherhood Today Is Proof of Evolution, Not Fragility
Despite all of this, mothers show up.
Single mothers especially show up.
Every day.
Every season.
Every twist and turn.
Not because we’re superhuman.
Not because we like stress.
Not because we’re “mentally ill.”
But because motherhood rewires you on a level that science hasn’t even fully examined yet.
It rearranges your mind.
It shifts your priorities.
It clarifies your purpose.
It activates instincts that weren’t there before.
It connects you to your child in ways that feel spiritual, primal, and unbreakable.
That’s not an illness.
That’s an evolution.
⭐ Motherhood deserves updated expectations and updated support.
We’re not raising kids in the 90s anymore.
So why are mothers judged as if we are?
The world has changed.
Motherhood has changed.
Single motherhood has changed most of all.
It’s time for society, policy, workplaces, and culture to catch up.
Until then?
We’ll keep doing what mothers always do:
Carrying worlds on our backs,
loving with impossible depth,
and becoming stronger in ways no one warns us about.
Not mentally ill,
just mentally expanded
by the responsibility of raising human beings in a world that keeps shifting beneath us.
In my world, that deserves respect.
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