9 Habits I Had to Kill Before I Could Grow💥
My growth journey to be a better version of myself didn’t arrive neatly wrapped in glitter and bows full of affirmations. It showed up deeply emotional and real—messy, dragging me through hard truths, uncomfortable realizations, and a whole lot of self-reflection. Before I could grow, I had to face the habits that were holding me back.
Some I’ve let go of completely. Others still creep in when I’m tired or stressed. But learning to see them for what they are has been half the battle.
Here are 9 habits I’ve had to bury in order to finally start blooming. 🌱✨
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1. Negative Self-Talk
For the longest time, my own voice was my worst critic. I’d pick apart the smallest mistake and replay it like a broken record. I wouldn’t dare speak to a friend the way I used to speak to myself.
Learning to shift that voice, catching it in the act and choosing kinder words, has been life-changing. These days, when the old voice creeps in, I ask myself: Would I say this to my son? If not, I don’t deserve to hear it either.
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2. People-Pleasing
I used to think saying “yes” to everyone was the same thing as being kind. But the truth is, every time I said yes when I really meant no, I was betraying myself.
Letting go of this habit meant realizing I don’t owe everyone access to me. Not everyone deserves a front-row seat in my life.
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3. Weak Boundaries
For years, I allowed people to overstep because I thought setting boundaries made me “difficult.” The opposite is true.
Boundaries are not walls, they’re doors. And I get to choose who walks through them.
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4. Comparison
Comparing myself to other women, especially as a mom, drained me constantly. I’d scroll through social media and feel like I wasn’t just falling behind, but in an entirely different race I didn’t sign up for.
But my son doesn’t need me to be the “perfect Instagram mom.” He just needs me—present, loving, and real. Someone else’s timeline isn’t my deadline.
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5. Overthinking
My mind could take a single awkward moment and spin it into an entire disaster. I’d replay conversations from years ago like they still had power over me.
Overthinking robbed me of peace and made me feel like I was always wrong. These days, when I catch myself spiraling, I remind myself: Not every thought needs my attention. Not every moment needs a story.
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6. Carrying Guilt
This one weighed me down for years. Childhood guilt. Family and relationship guilt. Mom guilt. Past guilt. Mistakes I couldn’t change but couldn’t forgive myself for.
I held on to all of it like it was my permanent burden to carry. But guilt doesn’t heal, it eats away at you, while keeping you stuck.
What I’ve come to realize is this: Swish doesn’t see my flaws, he sees that I keep showing up for him. And that’s what really matters.
Learning to accept my faults and mistakes wasn’t easy. Part of me felt I deserved that punishing weight I put on myself. And I did, but not for the reasons you’d think. I needed to feel that weight to take responsibility for my part in it, and also to be able to separate the extra baggage that wasn’t mine to carry.
This process was emotional, difficult, and absolutely invigorating once I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
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7. Playing Small
I’ve dimmed my light to make other people more comfortable. I’ve stayed quiet when I had something to say. I’ve held back dreams because I didn’t want to be “too much.”
But the truth is, shrinking doesn’t protect you, it just hides you. Eventually you don’t even remember who you really are.
Choosing to take up space has been one of my biggest acts of growth. I love my personality, and I wish more people had the opportunity to see it.
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8. Fear of Failure
Fear is sneaky. It convinced me that staying still was safer than trying and failing. But fear isn’t always a red flag, It can be motivation.
And staying still is its own kind of failure. Failure isn’t the end, it’s information. It’s a class before success.
My Mr. Swish Handles misses shots all the time on the basketball court, but he doesn’t quit. It's all part of the game. He just keeps running. Watching him reminds me that I can do the same. That young boy has taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible.
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9. Procrastination
This is my hardest battle... The mountain I’m still climbing.
Procrastination always promises comfort in the moment but leaves me stuck later. For years, I let it hold me back, convincing myself tomorrow would be easier.
What I’ve learned is that growth doesn’t live in tomorrow. Success doesn’t just appear tomorrow. New experiences may not be there tomorrow. It all lives in today, in the now.
Even small steps matter. Imperfect action is always better than none. That’s what helps me in the times this demon tries to creep back in. I pick one task. 99% of the time, that demon disappears.
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🌟 Closing Thoughts
These habits didn’t disappear overnight. Some still knock on my door, but now I recognize them before they unpack their bags.
Growth and change is daily work, and it’s messy, but so are we. And that’s the beauty of it.
So tell me… which habits are you working on letting go of, so you can finally bloom? 🌸
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